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To fathers who've lost a precious baby: I'm trying to put together information that will help other fathers and also to help us moms understand the many ways that you men and us grieve differently. It would mean a lot to me if you'd take time to answer the following questions and give me some insight into your inner self and real feelings about your loss.

I have a real heart for you fathers because you normally don't have anyone to turn to when you're hurting and most of the time, your wife is hurting so bad that she can't reach out to you in your pain. I want to thank you ahead of time for doing this for me. My husband and I have walked through 39 years since we lost our first two babies. There was no one there for us - no support group - no Internet - no one who had a clue how to help us. I don't want that to happen to anyone else. We held our grief in except to each other for 35 years. We've finally been able to bring it out in the open and grieve our precious son and only daughter. That's why we're trying to reach out to you. We were blessed to eventually have two sons and are now grandparents of four precious children. Please accept our deepest sympathy for your loss.

DO NOT USE ALL CAPITAL LETTERS!!!!!!!

Your name:
Your email address: (e.g.: you@aol.com)

Your child's full name:

Can your name be used in the finished article?
Yes No Don't Care

On a scale from 1-10, where are you in your grief. 1 being the lowest, 10 being the highest.

What kind of impact did your loss have on you as a person?

What was the one thing you needed family or friends to do for you personally during your first few days after your loss. What was the most important thing anyone did to console you?

How does your partner handle their grief?

If you could give any advice to a newly bereaved parent, what would it be?

How did the loss affect your marriage? Are you still married or have you divorced since the loss? If still together, are you and your wife closer or further apart?

How has the loss affected your sexual intimacy with your wife?

What is the hardest thing about your loss for you?

How was going back to work for you after your loss? Were you able to share with your employer? Did your fellow workers give you any support?

When are the hardest times for you in reference to your loss?

As a mother who's experienced two losses myself, what could I tell other mothers about men and their grief, that would help them to better understand you as a man?

Please share anything else that you'd like.

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